Jacques Derrida - Fear of writing

In this revealing clip, Derrida explains how the perceived "aggression" of deconstruction can create a "polemical" atmosphere which he feels does not characterize him ... this promotes a "fear" of certain consequences that he doesn't recognize when writing, but become present when he falls asleep, "terrifying" him ... then, a "panic" in his "subconscious" results, rendering his writings "criminal" ... when he wakes, these feelings disappear leading him to surmise that when "conscious" he is actually more "unconscious" than when asleep ... sleep produces a "vigilance" informing him of the "seriousness" of his undertakings ...